Conducting pre-match press conferences and post-match interviews can be a thankless task for sports reporters, not least if the subject has just endured 90 minutes of misery on the touchline, been slapped with a hefty fine for previous comments or smacked on the back of the head by a misguided football.
Off the back of the bizarre interview the Saracens Director of Rugby Brendan Venter delivered on Saturday following his side’s narrow defeat to Racing Metro, Sport.co.uk thought we would dig up some previous gems of on-screen infamy produced when a live microphone is thrust in front of a sportsperson’s disgruntled gob and they’ve just had to get something off their chest.
Here’s what all the fuss is about: Saracens’ impudent Brendan Venter speaking to Sky Sports’ befuddled Martin Gillingham.
And here’s it explained: In October, following Saracens’ Pool 2 defeat to Leinster Brendan Venter, speaking in a post-match interview, voiced concerns over the match officiating and interpretation of the laws. He was subsequently fined a hefty £21,800 and warned against any repeat offending.
Wrestling with the dilemma of how to speak openly in his post-match interviews without incurring the wrath of the Heineken Cup governing bodies the South African chose to channel a certain spoof England football coach from the film Mike Bassett: England Manager.
Call it ingenious or call it immature, judge for yourself.
" Firstly I found it hilariously funny," Venter admitted to the Daily Mirror. "Then I thought 'If have to do an interview this can be my template. I'll follow Dave Dodds [Bradley Walsh’s character]. He can be my role model."
In Jeremy Beadle’s You’ve Been Framed fashion here Sport.co.uk provide you with a collection of clips from the joyous world of football (that we were actually able to track down) where interviewee and interviewer haven’t quite seen eye-to-eye. If we missed any then feel free to post a link in the comment box below.
Whether you consider these to be moments of timeless mirth or uncensored car-crash television, just be thankful you’re not the one reduced to a quivering wreck, slumped in desolation, limply holding the mic as the music stops and the lights come on.
1. Brian Clough
Check in at 6m 31s for Brian Clough, in classic headmaster to naughty schoolboy fashion, delivering his personal diatribe on the sheepskin-swaddled Motty and his jumped-up MOTD show. Lord knows what he’d have to say about the show today. Lineker, Hansen and Lawrenson must be ever so grateful they haven’t had to endure that level of dressing down.
John Motson: You used to work as a panalist for us and have your say...
Brian Clough: As a critic and I’m far more qualified than you and any of your colleagues...I suggest you shut up and show more football. Now if that’s not in a nutshell I don’t know what is.
While we’re at it, check out the later-day Clough indirectly offering his thoughts to the Mike Ashleys and Garry Cooks of the world. [6m 05s]
Lesson: less talking, more football.
2. Sir Alex Ferguson
Here talkSPORT Magazine mistake a plainclothesman Sir Alex Ferguson for a good spirited manager up for a bit of football banter. Big mistake...and there goes the interview.
Question: what strikes the fear of God into a young journalist? Answer: a disgruntled Glaswegian.
Lesson: gauge their mood.
3. Harry Redknapp
As Darren Bent and a member of the Pompey reserves well know Mr Redknapp does not like his players to miss the target. “No wonder he’s in the reserves.”
And ‘Arry certainly doesn’t like being known as a wheeler and dealer. He’s a football manager. And don’t you forget it!
Notice Rob Palmer’s “Arr oh nooo I didn’t mean it like that Harry,” letting his unflustered, professional Sky Sports demeanour slip there. See what you do to those sports journalists Harry. See how you make us grovel.
Lesson: don’t call them names.
4. Roy Keane
Fundamental rule of press conferences: remember to put your phone on silent. In fact if you’re stepping into a room with Roy Keane in manager mode maybe it’s better just to lob it out the window entirely, sit quietly in the corner, hold your breath and at all costs evade his gaze.
In truth we expected, perhaps hoped for, more fireworks from the same man who in his playing days had attempted to amputate Alf-Inge Haaland’s lower body with the six studs on his right boot for suggesting he was feigning injury a season earlier. Nevertheless the Keano stare has been known to inject more than ample terror into the hearts of most hacks unlucky enough to be on the receiving end.
Lesson: don’t interrupt.
5. Gordon Strachan
What heinous, insensitive, deplorable question could have possibly evoked Gordon Strachan to crumble into a snivelling wreck, glug down a gallon of scotch, down a yard of absinthe and hurl himself from the nearest water crossing?
To quote the sarcastic Scot: “I’m just going to crumble into a wreck, go home, become an alcoholic and maybe throw myself off a bridge.”
Lesson: don’t ask stupid questions.
6. Joe Kinnear
The forlorn former crazy-gang and Newcastle United gaffer has had his fair of on-screen/on-air gaffes – not least with his “Insomnia...Somnia...Charlie” mistake that urged Charles N’Zogbia to storm out of St James’ Park – but his crowning moment came in an expletive-riddled outburst at Daily Mirror journalists for questioning his managerial practices in his first few days at the helm of the floundering Magpies.
Lesson: don’t get off on the wrong foot.
7. David Moyes
If sarcasm or screaming doesn’t work then perhaps silence prevails. Sometimes a silence can speak volumes. The stoney-faced David Moyes demonstrated that with perfection when pressed on a question about Everton’s Victor Anichebe [2m 21s] he had stated in no uncertain terms that he was not going to answer.
“ Was that really such a bad question?” pipes up the probing reporter. Moyes keeps schtum, preferring to display an uncomfortable, grimacing smile and blank-eyed stare at the foolish hacks in front of him. Press officers and their conditions can be a right pain. But then again rules are rules.
Lesson: don’t put your foot in it.
8. Ian Holloway
Mr Holloway is the kind of guy who nails his colours to the mast, wears his heart on his sleeve and generally shouts his mouth off at every available opportunity. The Tangerines’ manager was in fine fettle when the cameras turned to him for his take on the Rooney-will-he-won’t-he-just-give-me-more-money-saga in mid October this season. You’ve got to love him likening the admittedly bloated Liverpudlian to a house around 1m 08s. “You’re WRONG!”
Lesson: keep the cameras rolling.
9. Steve McLaren
Perhaps more one for the journo to enjoy rather than endure.
Whilst on sabbatical from directly facing ridicule in England, McLaren spoke to Dutch journalists ahead of his side FC Twente’s European tie with Arsenal. Around the minute mark notice the excruciatingly embarrassing moment the Yorkshireman, born and bred, truly embraces his new continental approach to football management: “I think we are not just what you say, underdogzzz, but massive UNDERDOGZZZ.”
And he was at it again in Germany in a press conference for his next European adventure with Wolfsburg.
Lesson: keep a straight face
10. Rafa Benitez
Reporter: “What do you make of Ferguson’s comments when he said Liverpool could choke?”
Benitez: “I was surprised but I have to talk about facts,” he said while pulling out a carefully scripted dossier of statistics, incidents and occurrences that illustrated why there was a nationwide conspiracy to provide Mr Ferguson with anything he pleased. “I don’t want to play “miiiind games” too early,” he insisted.
Of course you don’t Rafa, of course you don’t. It’s OK we know Fergie started it, and that’s a fact!
Lesson: just keep quiet and let the car-crash TV play out.