Following Euro 2008, sport.co.uk takes a look at the phrases that leave us all wanting to throttle football pundits and managers.
1. ‘He’s scoring goals for fun at the moment.’ Never in the history of football has a player been disappointed at scoring a goal. Please never say this again, ever.
2. ‘And now the lottery that is penalties, what a dreadful way to decide a football match.’ By far and away the best and fairest way to settle a match. Everyone loves penalties, even the commentators. So why do they say this?
3. ‘Such courage especially after all he’s been through this week.’ If everybody who suffered family bereavement took ten days off work, the world would come to standstill.
4. ‘It’s a real six pointer.’ No it isn’t. It will be none, one or three, but not six.
5. ‘He’s taken to the league like a duck to water / He’ll probably need a season to settle.’ Both of these will be sprouted during the third week of Soccer Saturday to describe some of the new foreign signings.
6. ‘This is…territory, he’s a free kick specialist.’ The commentator will fill in the blank with anyone who happens to be standing near the ball at this point.
7. ‘He’s always the first one at training and the last one to leave.’ We all know that this is simply untrue.
8. ‘It’s a funny old game.’ A phrase for any occasion, but often uttered by the opposition manager after your side has had two disallowed goals and a blatant penalty turned down.
9. ‘Would you believe it?’ Considering Martin Tyler asks us the same question after every single goal, it is actually no surprise that we do believe it.
10. ‘I think we deserved it’. The first thing that every manager says to the reporter after his team have fluked a one nil win that defied all footballing logic. Listen out for Steve Bruce saying this next season.