If you’ve ever found yourself screaming at Sky Sports’ Super Sunday coverage it’s probably because your side have just conceded some sickeningly stupid goal...or because ‘football analyst’ Andy Gray has opened his mouth to have his say on proceedings. A stalwart in the commentators gantry for nearly twenty years the former Everton and Aston Villa striker has managed to regularly offend the sensibilities of fans up and down the country; sport.co.uk bites back and kindly suggests the Scot doesn’t ‘take a bow' for the following...
1. An obsession with graphical arrows
Andy loves gadgets, especially if they help illustrate the rather obvious. Not content with demonstrating exactly where players will stand on the magic dark blue Sky Sports pitch, the gurning Scot feels compelled to point out that they will, in fact, be moving forward, towards the opponents goal, y'know, in a 'making headway' kind of way.
2. "Time and time and time and again"
Oh look at me I'm saying the same thing in every commentary, how kooky and self-referential of me.
3. "I really do believe that..."
Yeah, alright Andy, we believe that you believe it. We don't require any bonus affirmation of your oracle-like wisdom. "Gather round, children...Andy's got another opinion to bestow upon us!"
4. "WHAT a...shot/goal/game/rifle"
As in "What a game, Martin" and "what a rifle from Collymore." Give me strength.
5. Those wonderfully inopportune moments of certainty/stupidity.
"Game well, and truly, over, and I hate to say that" - not as much as he hates to hear it now. The game? That Champions League final between Liverpool and AC Milan. Oops.
6. Occasional hilarious contretemps with Martin Tyler
The Morecambe and Wise of commentary do have their occasional disagreements. This commentary at Stamford Bridge was a vintage example...
"Some refs would have given a yellow card for that on the continent."
"England was in Europe the last time I checked, Andy."
7. "Take a bow son"
See 2.
8. Nicknames
JT...Stevie G...Scotty Parker. Andy's such good pals with the Premiership elite that he calls them by their nicknames, a bit like Steve McLaren, but with more deference.
9. Naked bias on behalf of English teams.
Hardly unique to Gray, but at times you might as well be listening to FanZone with him in the commentary box.
This is perhaps the most famous example...
10. His wonderful turns of phrase
Where do we begin....
"It's not out of the top draw, it's above that."
"It's what I call one of those 'indefensible ones' - those ones you can't defend."
"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs."