The premise for this one is simple: Sport.co.uk gives you ten Premier League footballers whom many a fan would wrongly consider to be a good signing for their club…
1. Morten Gamst Pedersen (Blackburn Rovers) – The Norwegian wide man was being linked with £10m moves to various big name clubs after scoring a couple of wonder goals a few seasons ago but, while his form has picked up a bit of late, he has generally been a rather mediocre contributor to the Rovers cause.
2. Shaun Wright-Phillips (Manchester City) – Considering how much of a terrace darling Ian Wright’s lad used to be at the City of Manchester Stadium, it speaks volumes that City fans are now not particularly bothered whether or not he signs a new contract. The right-winger is not the same dynamic, havoc-wreaking presence that he was before he left for the bright lights and crisp notes at Chelsea.
3. John Carew (Aston Villa) – Another Norwegian, the target man has undoubtedly been a fine player for Martin O’Neill’s side…until this season. Whether his sudden uselessness can be attributed to a loss of fitness or interest is not entirely clear, but he’s probably less effective than – dare we say it - Emile Heskey at the moment.
4. Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham Hotspur) – He’s a good player, isn’t he? Played for England and all that. And didn’t Jose Mourinho pick him in his fantasy football team? He must be amazing. Well, no. Jenas has been at White Hart Lane since 2005 and really ought to have stamped his mark on Spurs by now but, bar a decent run of form during the 2006-2007 season, he has resoundingly failed to do so.
5. Gael Clichy (Arsenal) – He’s even better than Ashley Cole, said the Arsenal fans of their young French left-back. But the two players’ respective performances this season have disclosed a considerable gulf in class in favour of the controversial Chelsea star.
6. Kenwyne Jones (Sunderland) – They call him the poor man’s Didier Drogba, but it’s more complex than that. According to current Poor Man’s exchange rates, there are currently three and a half Etheringtons to the Giggs, four point two Wes Browns to the Carvalho and a whopping seven point eight Kenwyne Joneses to the Drogba.
7. James Beattie (Stoke City) – Once every year and a half or so, Beattie will score at a vaguely impressive rate for ten or fifteen games, before eventually calming down and settling into a long scoreless groove when he remembers that he’s not particularly good at this football lark.
8. Matty Taylor (Bolton Wanderers) – The Trotters’ very own Morten Gamst Pedersen. Taylor is well liked by fans of other clubs for the smattering of spectacular goals he’s chipped in with for Bolton and former club Portsmouth but, in truth, he offers very little else when his noted work ethic eludes him, as it appears to have at the moment.
9. Peter Crouch (Tottenham Hotspur) – Currently being shown up badly by Roman Pavlyuchenko, Crouch has generally scored quite consistently over the last few seasons but plays so high up the pitch that he’s not only not good for much else but also negatively impacts upon the whole team. Witness Spurs transforming into a long ball side whenever he’s on the pitch.
10. Glen Johnson (Liverpool) – Everyone knows what the former Portsmouth right-back offers going forward but reservations were always held about his defending. Sure enough, Liverpool have looked stronger at the back this season when Johnson has been out of the side. Not the wisest use of £18m.
Honorable mentions: -
Michael Carrick (Manchester United)
Joseph Yobo (Everton)
Steve Sidwell (Aston Villa)
JOHN TERRY (CHELSEA)
William Gallas (Arsenal)
Kolo Toure (Manchester City)