Further to last week’s list, here are ten more players who are either seeking pastures new, looking set to move, hoping to end their (insert name of relevant club here) nightmare, issuing a ‘come and get me plea’ or alerting other clubs to their availability. In some cases, quite possibly all at once. Here’s Sport.co.uk’s Top Ten: I’m Not Playing, Get Me Out of Here! (Part Two)…
1. Phillipe Senderos – Despite successfully replacing Martin Keown in the ‘confused-looking Arsenal centre-back’ stakes, Swiss international Senderos almost joined Everton in the summer and has barely featured at all this season. “A change of clubs in the winter is an option - I am keeping all doors open. This is a difficult time,” he told the Sunday Mirror recently. “It is like a test that I have to come through, but I believe in God and have to stay strong.” So if William Gallas or Thomas Vermaelen happen to get struck down by lightning any time soon, you’ll know who to blame.
2. Ruud Van Nistelrooy – While he was at Manchester United, the Dutch striker was neck-and-neck with Thierry Henry as the Premier League’s most dominant goalscoring force, scoring 95 times in 150 appearances. Now 33 and sitting on the sidelines at Real Madrid, Van Nistelrooy is seeking pastures new in search of precious “minutes”. Wednesday’s Guardian had him saying: “I want to play, I still haven't spoken to [Real Madrid coach] Manuel Pellegrini because I'm still recovering [from a thigh injury] but when I am ready I will speak to him. If I do not get minutes, that will give me a reason to leave in January. My intention is to play at the World Cup with Holland. If I do not play, that will be impossible because I need to be able to prove that I can still play at the level I did a few months ago [before the injury]. That said, right now I do not have any club.” The paper also reports that Tottenham, who are always in the market for a striker no matter how many they may already have, are interested.
3. Royston Drenthe – Real’s other peripheral Dutchman may well decide to find himself a club where he’s not competing with Ronaldo and Kaka for a first-team place. Fiorentina are reportedly interested, with Goal.com saying, “His price has fallen, with voices claiming a €6 million offer could see him move to Serie A.” Voices, eh? Sounds more Royston Vasey than Royston Drenthe…
4. Fernando Gago – It’s a Real Madrid fire sale! The Argentine midfielder ain’t getting no games at the Bernabeu either, which at least leaves him with more time to indulge his passion for art and literature. Wikipedia informs us:
“Fernando Gago is also a literature and art enthusiast. The first thing he did after landing in Spain was visit the Museo del Prado. He earned the nickname El Pintita (‘pintar’ in Spanish means ‘to paint’) ever since Ramón Maddoni scolded him for playing with his hair.Also, his Boca Juniors teammates would call him so because his youth squad coach would scold him ‘stop painting and run!’”
There you go, then. Oh, and Real Madrid Director General Jorge Valdano described Gago as “a footballer who thinks well and thinks fast, and who helps facilitate the distribution of the ball from in the midfield”. So, basically, he’s good at passing. But pay attention, kids: buzzword-filled waffle such as that can get you far in life.
5. Luca Toni – Despite having perhaps the most Mafioso-sounding name in football, the Italian target man can’t persuade Bayern Munich to give him regular first team football. Substituted at half-time in the 1-1 draw against Schalke earlier this month, he opted to leave the stadium rather than watch the rest of the game from the stands. “That was wrong and we have taken note of it,” said Bayern general manager Uli ‘Bob’ Hoeness. Perhaps a Serie A club will make Toni an offer he can’t refuse. Although, judging by this picture, he doesn’t appear to place much stock in fighting for his shirt…
6. Patrick Vieira – Was he ever really going to sign for Spurs? What happened to Arsene Wenger bringing him back to Arsenal? How come he’s so rubbish now, anyway? Can we say he ‘looks set’ to leave Inter in January? Because he’s ‘looked set’ for a few transfer windows running now. He reckons he’s still got it though. “There is no one on my level in France at the moment,” he told L’Equipe newspaper. “I could come off as being arrogant, but I am sure of it.” Still can’t get in the French team though, which is rumoured to have been a source of friction between unpopular coach Raymond Domenech and Thierry Henry. Whoever this Thierry Henry chap is.
7. Hatem Ben Arfa – The 22 year-old Marseille winger has fallen out with his manager Didier Deschamps, accusing him of, get this, “breaking his balls”. Is this a literal translation from a coincidentally identical French expression, or does Ben Arfa just watch a lot of South Park? Anyway, he’s been linked with a £13m move to Tottenham but, with Luka Modric and Niko Kranjcar already on the books at White Hart Lane, does Harry ‘Load of Old Tosh’ Redknapp really need him? He’s been linked with Portsmouth as well but, you know, come ON.
8. Mario Balotelli – Blimey, where to start? Jose Mourinho, his manager at Inter, had this to say about the young striker’s display in a 1-1 draw at home to Roma earlier this season:
“Balotelli was terrible today, close to zero. He didn't move, didn't work and did not help the team with [Dejan] Stankovic injured and [Wesley] Sneijder incredibly tired. Mario only played 45 minutes on Wednesday, he's 19 and could have done a lot more. I cannot do more with him. I need help. I tried everything with different strategies, to be closer to him and sweeter, more distant and aggressive. Now I must wait for his response. He listens and talks to the Coach, but sometimes I don't know if he is 100 per cent in agreement with me. He has improved, but with the talent he has he ought to be giving more by now.”
Inter president Massimo Moratti told Il Corriere Dello Sport.: “The telling off from Mourinho was an affectionate observation, serious and professional. Balotelli is an intelligent guy and I am sure he will understand.”
Well, Balotelli certainly showed his intelligence in a recent Q&A with children from the Instituto Don Gnocchi. Asked who he supports, he replied: ““I am a Milanista [AC Milan fan]. Didn’t you know that?” When asked why he’s an Inter player if he supports Milan, he said: “Well, I’m playing for Inter this year…”. Apparently, his allegiances were called into question when he was spotted “in front of” a Milan club shop, but according to his sister, he was joking:
“You can never tell when he is joking around,” said Cristina Balotelli, who is also his advisor. “He just wanted to crack a joke to attract the attention of the children. To be honest, I don't know who he supports. He is the only one who can say. He wants to stay at Inter and he is happy there.”
More from the whacky world of Balotelli as we have it. Alternatively, you can tune into Balo Telly. Coat and/or taxi!
9. Rafael van der Vaart – Another Dutchman not getting regular games at Real Madrid? Blimey. How much for all three? And do you want to split the price? (Think about it...) Anyway, the midfielder has only played 141 minutes of first team football this season, according to this somewhat unhelpfully accurate website and he could be set for a move to…pfffft…Villa? Yeah, that’ll do. Sorry. It’s Friday afternoon. You know how it is.
10. Alan Julian – The out-of-favour Gillingham goalkeeper has just handed in a transfer request. A club statement said: “After discussions, chairman Paul Scally and manager Mark Stimson have accepted Alan's request and his name has been circulated to Football League clubs.” Let the mad scramble for his signature commence!