Top Ten: Footballers with Moustaches
Dan Gilmore
Posted on: 09 October 2009 - 13:23
Football
Footballers are not exactly renowned for their subtle sense of style or sophistication. These days it is all about Vivienne Westwood diamond earrings (yes you Micah Richards…) and rubbish tattoos running the full length of arms (think Bendtner, Bellamy, Jenas etc) while a few years back it was all bleach blond highlights and oversized Bentleys that were de rigueur. Style trends in the modern game now change on a monthly basis, with most young players keen to emulate whatever haircut/car/dress David Beckham has been modelling that week in LA/Milan. The guy is like an international edition of Vogue. A new breed of foreign superstars mostly hailing from Portugal, Italy and Spain are challenging the English consensus: opting for the tight jeans and carton of Shockwaves look: think Cristiano Ronaldo crossed with John Travolta in Grease. Anyway, the lesson to take from all these terrible mistakes is that lots of money combined with a complete lack of conscious taste or intelligence equates to clothing of such imperious awfulness that one becomes wistfully nostalgic for a return to the Eighties heyday of Adidas tracksuits and cultivated moustaches, when men were men and any ‘bloke’ messing around with diamond jewellery and lines in their eyebrows could be sure of a couple of elbows and a two footed tackle to the groin.
Here are ten footballers who remained faithful to the timeless ‘moustache look’ made popular by European dictators, the YMCA anthem, angry Northern miners and excitable young men jiving away in Soho nightclubs.
Ian Rush
The words football, Liverpool and moustache are instantly synonymous with those hilarious characters out of Harry Enfield, drinking beer in shell suits and chatting away in a bizarre foreign dialect. Whilst ‘scousers’ have always claimed they kick started the ‘casual look’ after Euro away trips to Italy, they must have stopped off en route in Austria or Belgium, where the locals clearly imparted invaluable advice on facial grooming. Ian Rush was one such player to model the ‘Chaplin’ to iconic effect but circa 2003 he shaved it off and now just looks plain wrong.
Graeme Souness
Never one to shirk away from a tackle the Anfield legend was also brave enough to carry off his own YMCA impression throughout the Eighties. Not that you would have laughed at him on the pitch; he would have broken your legs in two and (knowing the referees of the period) won a penalty for his troubles.
David Seaman
Not content with having an embarrassing name and retiring from football having made Manchester City look like even more of a joke than usual, the Arsenal and England goalkeeper steadfastly refused to give up on a look that died permanently around 1989. The later ‘pony tail’ completed a bizarre repertoire of fashion faux-pas but then again for a lad who grew up near Leeds it’s not exactly surprising.
Ricky Villa
An Argentine hero for Tottenham fans of a certain vintage, Villa had it all: the tash, the beard, the long black hair and most importantly the ability to run half the pitch in an FA Cup final to score perhaps the greatest winning goal ever seen at the old Wembley. Time and a career in politics have matured him, and sadly his face is now devoid of hair, but few will forget a man who looked like Jesus wheeling away in celebration with half the Manchester City team sprawled at his feet.
Carlos Alberto Valderrama
Possibly more famous for his amazing hair than his elegant moustache, Valderrama is widely hailed as the greatest Columbian footballer of all time. Forging a career mostly in Columbia and the USA, Valderrama remains an iconic hero for fans around the world, and in 1999 was selected by Pele as one of the top 100 footballers of the 20th Century.
Philippe Albert
A cult hero in Newcastle where he spent five successful years under Kevin Keegan and of course in his native Belgium with whom he travelled to the 1994 World Cup. Albert cultivated a fine Flemish top lip and will always be remembered for his audacious chip over Manchester United’s Peter Schmeichel in an incredible 5-0 victory at St James Park in 1998.
Rudi Voller
Where can one begin? Few people in history have defined an entire nation’s approach to fashion in a single era but Rudi’s bubble perm and Teutonic moustache perhaps go some way to explaining Germany’s national obsession with David Hasselhoff and a cultural misunderstanding of what constitutes a sense of humour.
Gary Neville
A modern day icon at Old Trafford, revered and despised in equal measure, enjoys inciting opposition fans whenever United score a late winner and clearly eager to experiment with varying forms of uniquely disgraceful facial hair. Liverpool supporters have likened him to a rat…what else could you expect?
Mickey Droy
Like Ricky Villa he went for the beard/moustache combo and carried it off with panache. Popular defender at Stamford Bridge during the 70s and 80s he was nevertheless seen as a primary protagonist in the relegations of 1975 and 1979, and is a far cry from the current Armani clad, freshly Gilletted superstars who currently reside on the Fulham Road.
Socrates
A true footballing great, the former captain of Brazil is renowned for his intelligence, hard living and creative facial hair. A cross between Charles Manson and Freddie Mercury any list about football and facial hair would be empty without him.
