Top Ten: Worst England Internationals
Jonny Abrams
Posted on: 24 March 2009 - 15:46
Football
1. Carlton Palmer – Now appearing in gamblers’ bathtubs, the former Sheffield Wednesday and Leeds United midfielder earned 18 caps during Graham Taylor’s disastrous reign. Although a steady, reliable performer for his clubs, he evidently was not an international class player, although he did manage to score against San Marino. Then again, so have approximately three quarters of the earth’s population at one point or another. Palmer later had an especially disastrous spell as manager of Stockport County, before finding a new niche as a pundit on BBC’s Final Score.
2. Andy Sinton – Another legend of the Taylor era, Sinton was a busy but hardly explosive winger for Queens Park Rangers, Sheffield Wednesday and Tottenham Hotspur, amongst others. Despite earning 12 caps for his country – playing at left-back in some of them - his Wikipedia entry has only the following highlight to report: “He played David Platt through on goal for England's penalty claim that was turned down in their 2-0 defeat against the Netherlands in Rotterdam in October 1993.” And who could forget that?
3. Michael Ricketts – After a glut of goals for Bolton Wanderers in 2001/2002, the striker was handed his only cap in a friendly against Holland in the February of that season. He played 45 minutes but didn’t score. He subsequently played many more games in which he failed to score, before finding a semblance of form for Walsall this season. What went so right for that one season? Whatever it was, it must have also happened to Marcus Stewart, Uwe Rosler and Jan Aage Fjortoft. Michael Ricketts is also “an Acoustic Musician with an honest and raw sound”: www.michaelricketts.co.uk/
4. Seth Johnson – Poster boy of the Leeds United decline, the story of the midfielder’s transfer talks with the club are the stuff of legend. Johnson’s agent, it is said, wanted to hold out for £13,000 a week. Then-chairman Peter Ridsdale – architect of the Leeds United decline – entered the room and informed them that he was sorry, but he could only offer £30,000 a week. Johnson’s agent uttered an exclamation of disbelief. “Alright,” continued Ridsdale, “37,000 then”. Thusly, the £7m transfer from Derby County was completed. Johnson’s dismal failure saw to it that he never added to the one England cap he received while at Derby.
5. Danny Mills – Another expensive Leeds signing at just over £4m, Mills was also not particularly good. And was capable of dishing out an injury or two. Somehow, though, the right-back managed to rack up 19 England caps. He also once scored an absolute screamer for Manchester City against Everton. (Football history is littered with cases of mediocre players scoring absolute screamers, often of the 25/30-yard variety).
6. Keith Curle – The former Manchester City and Wolverhampton Wanderers centre-back is fondly remembered for getting ragged all over the place against Denmark during Euro ’92 – although, to be fair, he was playing out of position at right-back. Despite a crucial error that led to City’s relegation in 1996, Curle was a strong performer for his clubs and as such could be seen as unfairly maligned. In 2004, he was sacked as manager of Mansfield Town after he was accused of bullying a youth team player, an accusation which he successfully fought in court.
7. Stuart Ripley – A winger at Blackburn Rovers and later Southampton, Ripley was called upon by Graham Taylor to solve the problematic lack of good delivery from out wide. During his two caps, he ran about a bit and attempted a number of crosses, some of which got past the first man. That’s about it, really. File alongside fellow cap-winners Jason Wilcox and David White.
8. Geoff Thomas – Another from the Taylor era – notice a theme emerging here? A workmanlike midfielder for Crewe and Crystal Palace, Thomas is best-remembered for that miss against France in March 1992. The one that went so badly wide that, if it was in an early Nintendo game, it would have sailed back in from the other side of the stadium. File alongside Neil Webb.
9. Neil Ruddock – Another single-capper, Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock was a notorious ‘hard man’ centre-back for Spurs and Liverpool but, for all his brawn, there wasn’t much in the way of brains. Accused by Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan of "taking the team out and getting them wasted when we were fighting relegation”, Ruddock has also appeared on I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!, possibly in a bid to deflect attention from his footballing career. In February 2009, he apparently admitted to eating 212 steak and kidney pies per annum. The wonders of Wikipedia, eh?
10. Francis Jeffers – As an emerging teenage striker at Everton, Jeffers looked set for a big future, even prompting Alan Hansen to compare him to Dennis Bergkamp on Match of the Day. However, a £10m transfer to Arsenal seemed to sap him of talent and verve. What went so horribly wrong? Whatever it was, it’s followed him throughout his career ever since, failing even to score for Rangers in the Scottish Premiership. Still, his 100% record for England remains intact – 1 game, 1 goal, against Australia in a 2003 friendly. File alongside David Nugent.